Under a Gibbous Moon

This strange case comes out of Merry Ole England. Marium Varinauskas, while drunk, attempted to strike a responding police officer with his penis. The police officer, responding to the danger with a cool head, managed to dodge the blow (though I do like the articles use of “forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck”).

After sobering up he claims to have no memory of his phallic assault but has decided to swear off “binge drinking”.

The thing I truly enjoy about the internet is that I am truly convinced that no matter what I’ve heard or seen, somebody out there is determined to top it. Bless you.

Megan Barnes was in a car accident. She rear ended a pickup truck. She did this apparently because she was shaving her “bikini area”. This story has all kinds of wrong.

• She was shaving because she was on her way to see her boyfriend
• Her ex-husband was in the car with her
• He was steering
• She was driving (sort of) on a suspended license

At least she wasn’t talking on her cell phone too.

Disgusting but true. Bed bugs have a pheromone that lets males know that they have, uh, “mounted” the wrong gender. Bed bugs, it seems reproduce via traumatic copulation, wherein the male uses his needle like penis to punch a whole into the females chest and then ejaculates into them. Suddenly, Alien seems less creepy.

Researchers were able to block the glad that produced this (why?) and found that males would then mount other males and proceed to stab them to death with there penises.

I can just see the lab now:

“Doctor, when we blocked up those glands, the males started to impale each other with their penises.”

“Hmmm, interesting, let’s run more tests, just to be sure.”

And people get up in arms when they test shampoo on dogs.

Finally, in the comments on the first article, this related comic was linked to. Try to not be drinking anything when you read it.

And a disturbing love of hot dogs

It's on sale for $17.99 and I still wouldn't buy it.

The ever helpful Google Ads has shown me that not only are Emu’s tasty, they are good for your skin too.

Just remember “Due To Occasional Production Set Backs Please Allow An Additional 7 Working Days On Top Of Usual Delivery Time”