Under a Gibbous Moon

For whatever reason I can’t figure out, I was watching some program with Nancy Grace. Listening to her talk and spout her stupidity made me want to go outside and punch a squirrel.

Then upon reflection, I realized that listening to Nancy Grace made me want to go outside and punch Nancy Grace. Everything she said was loud, baseless and alarmist. Henceforth, she shall be referred to as girl Bill O’reilly.

Football season has started again. It’s a horrible time when grown men yell at their television sets like they had some kind of prion disease and they tell anyone who’ll listen how they’re team won last night despite the fact that the most physical activity they’ve ever had was a sprint to the toilet after eating that entire jar of nacho chēz.

One thing that I’ve always found interesting is that when you listen to a sports fanatic, they know every detail about the teams, the players, and and who made the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl thirty-six years ago.

Despite this encyclopedic knowledge, they frequently show no aptitude for other learning and will often look at you funny if you mention reading that doesn’t involve fantasy football or the sports page.

On the other hand, you have nerds who also show extreme knowledge of the obscure when related to Star Wars, Star Trek, Joss Whedon, and/or comic books. Despite this similarity, outside of their obsession, these people show aptitude for learning and tend to obtain degrees in engineering, computer programming, and other hard sciences.

Why do such similar behaviors result in such similar outcomes? While sports fanatics do display the capacity to be quite intelligent, I would say that they suffer under the stigma that if they used their brains for anything other than learning sports statistics that they would be not be macho.

The overly sexualized behavior of sports players (the but smacking, dick grabbing, etc.) has often been interpreted as fear of being seen as homosexual or feminine. Unfortunately, in these circles, being intelligent is also seen as a symptom of not being a man. This leads to perfectly intelligent people hiding their intelligence behind a haze of beer and stupidity.

Further evidence that sports (particularly professional sports) do not do anyone any good.

I just saw a commercial for a product from Bayer. They have now made a wake up aspirin product for the mornings. It includes aspirin and the alertness aid caffeine. Congratulations boys! You have now combined a blood thinner and a vasoconstrictor. You can get the one step forward that you know and trust now with one step back! Next you can light your money on fire and cheer as it burns!

Who the fuck needs a warrant or probable cause or any of that. Evidently a judge has decided that the outside surface of your car is public property. I never understand people that comment on stories about violating constitutional rights. Apparently if you aren’t doing anything that you feel is wrong, then you shouldn’t need the Constitution. I want to quote Ben Franklin here, but I think we all know which quote I’m going for.

Governments never take a dramatic action to remove freedom. They always will one step people into total tyranny.

When I was out and about this weekend I saw all this kids driving around in their pimped out cars. They driving recklessly on the roads and hanging around in parking lots talking like they actually knew about cars.

Just a hint for you fellers, when you are in high school and you’re driving around a $20,000+ car with $10,000+ worth of modifications to it, we all know that your mommies and your daddies bought them for you.

Do you know what that means? That no matter how cool it looks and no matter how fast it goes, it will never be cool.