Under a Gibbous Moon

For whatever reason I can’t figure out, I was watching some program with Nancy Grace. Listening to her talk and spout her stupidity made me want to go outside and punch a squirrel.

Then upon reflection, I realized that listening to Nancy Grace made me want to go outside and punch Nancy Grace. Everything she said was loud, baseless and alarmist. Henceforth, she shall be referred to as girl Bill O’reilly.

Remember, science is evil!

That is clearly what we have here. They are out there putting their lives on the line to keep the streets safe from the likes of me.

“What now?” You may ask yourself. I got stopped again last night/this morning. This is number 86. “What did you do?” would probably be the next question. I would call you a jackass for assuming I did anything.

Officer Pollitt stopped me and ticketed me for $120 for my front license plate not being mounted on my front bumper. It’s not missing. It’s just not on the bumper

I have a picture of it, but everytime I try to upload it, I am getting an IO error.

It’s mounted on the front dash held flat against the windshield and plainly visible from the front. I believed these were all the requirements needed.

Well after climbing the chain of command a bit the next morning, apparently I hurt his feelings because he got the impression that I was being bothered by his traffic stop. Pure silliness! Who the hell doesn’t want to spend 20 minutes at the side of the road because their license plate might be off-center. Apparently not yelling or shouting or arguing the point with him was not enough. Now I have to be happy to be there.

At any rate, he was incorrect and the license plate does not have to be attached to the bumper but has to be clearly visible and obstruction free. What ground are they standing on now so that they aren’t wrong? Illinois apparently outlawed license plate covers last year and now my windshield is one big-ass license plate cover. So now it’s $120 for a license plate cover. On the front. The one that doesn’t have a registration sticker and right now there is legislation passing to do away with front license plates. You’re all fucking saved now.

I have been using the same razor blade cartridge for 6 years.

Someone needs to update this thing, so here is a picture.

Sesame Street has sure changed a lot since I was younger. Black people must have moved into the neighborhood.