As anyone who has attended Illinois State University can tell you, one of the greatest threats facing this nation comes in the form of those small furry insurgents who have quietly infiltrated every nook and cranny of this country. It is impossible to go anywhere there is a tree without being secretly surveilled by these grey, brown, and even white furry menaces. In our parks we see them meeting, plotting our downfalls. Lighting raids marked by the hurling of acorns and high pitched chattering. The government must wake up to this rodent menace before it becomes too late.
Hat Tip: NotionsCapital